They are here.. Among us!

Here’s your laugh for the day…..

Number One Idiot of 2008

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital.

She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.

Here’s your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Two Idiot of 2008

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in
getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a
float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming
toward them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the
emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.

They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Here’s your sign, guys. Don’t get it wet; the paint might run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Three Idiot of 2008

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this, ‘Put all your muny in  this bag.’ While
standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to
worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the
police before he reached the teller’s window. So he left the Bank of
America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller.

She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn’t the brightest light in the harbour, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.  Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, ‘OK’ and left.

He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America .

Don’t bother with this guy’s sign. He probably couldn’t read it anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Four Idiot of 2008

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car.

Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that
contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately
mailed in his $40.

Wise guy…….. But you still get a sign
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Five Idiot of 2008

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer.  After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf.  He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, ‘Because I don’t believe you are over 21.’

The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him
because she didn’t believe him.  At this point, the robber took his
driver’s licence out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk
looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag.

The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the licence.  They arrested the robber two hours later.

This guy definitely needs a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Idiot Number Six of 2008

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers. The first one shouted, ‘Nobody move!’ When his partner
moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

This guy doesn’t even deserve a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Idiot Number Seven of 2008

Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. He lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.

Yep, here’s your sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Idiot Number Eight of 2008

I live in a semi-rural area ( Weyauwega , Wisconsin). We recently had a new neighbour call the local township administrative office to
request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.

The reason: ‘Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don’t
think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

STAY ALERT!
They walk among us…they REPRODUCE…and they VOTE!!!

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One Response to They are here.. Among us!

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